Robots are developing.

If my world collapsed tomorrow
It'd be just like today
I'd be living my life bound
In a large assortment of metal chains.

Most likely, they hold my life together
But I can't say for sure
Come fall I suppose we'll see
If my estimations are correct.

Authority is meaningless,
It runs the fucking world
Is it all for no purpose?
Are we all permanently blind?

There is few that can hold me up
In these days of misdemeaned life
So I'll go on living today
Like tomorrow will never come.

Exposure At It's Best.

Streaking through my veins
The snakebite strikes again.
Breathing life into me,
Lighting my flickering candle again.

Philosophy is gone
This living venom is all I need
Head back, lips parted
This sensation feeds my hunger.

Eyes crossed, body tired
The venom coarses; slowing within me
Another night spent with this ignorance
but my hunger is, for now, satisfied.

Crumpled on the carpet
Head throbbing weakly
Left alone, again with the remnants of my poison
And tomorrow i'll be bitten again.

Over You

I remember
those days when
we sat and kissed
by the T.V. in my room.
We never made it through
those movies, despite the
intrusions of every possible
distraction and mishap.
My family never
took to you like
I did when
we were
so

Wrongly Desperately togheter.

I'm The Icing On Your Bedroom Floor.

Standing tall in your playhouse
Of multi colored lies
Wanting to leave, get away
while I cling to every one.

Your deceit is so inviting,
baby your a catch
But unfortunately, love,
I don't prefer raw fish.

Your lips connect with mine,
Kisses covor the words you said
A smell of sugar coated artificiality
Floods the air we grasp to take.

For the longest damn time
your beautiful being kept me occupied
While your lies waltzed in one ear
and right back out the other.

Love is not a game
And yet our daily tradgedies make it so
All that's left as you fix your tee and walk out
is our artificial, sugar coated scent.

The color of rebellion.

I have been thinking. I know, wow right?





We all go throughout life attempting to simply survive, possibly succeed. However, underneath it all, we're all looking for someone...something that can truly make us happy. I don't care who you are. I don't care if your the old nun at the old church on the corner or the hooker across the street. Everyone wants something that can truly make their life complete. Now, there are some people who instead of actually searching for that one thing decide that maybe having a lot of artificial happiness can compensate. We see this a lot in hollywood. People will settle with one thing because it is attractive and in a week they've moved on to the next little toy.





However, this is not how life should be.





Deep down, we all know what we want. Maybe it's someone who cooks you breakfasat after a crappy night. Maybe it's someone who gives it up on the first date (although i'm not too sure that's love..). Maybe your love is just someone who will put up with your wild obsessions with Australia. Who knows. All we can know is that we all have some quality that holds us bound and forces us to love every bit of it.

The Color Of Rebellion.

My love is the color of rebellion.
It smells of violence
It is the flavor of rocking out,
Feels like a minority
And carries a hellacious tune.
Like water, uncapable of capture
And free to breathe
If you can't love my water
Than find your source of glue.

One of us has to think, and it won't be me.

Time goes by
But you still stand there.
I can't keep taking you farther into my future.

You step forward, like you always do
Holding out your hand i've taken so many other times
And fall, once again, into you.

Have you changed
or am I consecutively wasting time
It feels so damn good to have
something that's never real
Keeping you here is killing me
Don't leave, I might not make it
Your the pill I can't stop taking
But it's slowly killing me.

I feel your lips on mine, once again
I feel life getting harder
And harder still.

I keep thinking I can say no
To you and your addictions.
But saying no to you will never be easy.

Have you changed
or am I consecutively wasting time
It feels so damn good to have
something that's never real
Keeping you here is killing me
Don't leave, I might not make it
Your the pill I can't stop taking
But it's slowly killing me.

I wish you'd just say no to me
So I can continue to never listen to myself.
Please, go.

Have you changed
or am I consecutively wasting time
It feels so damn good to have
something that's never real
Keeping you here is killing me
Don't leave, I might not make it
Your the pill I can't stop taking
But it's slowly killing me.

DISCLAIMER

Just a small disclaimer...

My titles for poetry and such are...not quite normal. So just so you know. Usually they've got some personal meaning, so...yeah. Thanks everyone. <33

You're no superman, you're Pete Wentz's BITCH.

You have the most beautiful eyes,
They're my bad addiction, i'm watching scared.

Your smile is contagous
but I refuse to catch that disease tonight.

You've become my everything
Because I poisoned my world and your all that stands.

You are my insect
Biting your way through my skin
Rotting, decaying
Feeding on what you created

And your all i've got
I've got so much better
than the shit you give to me
And I feel so lost
Lost inside myself
And my heart has breathed it's last today
Your all I
Your not what I need

The worlds you say are law
And the lies you breathe disgust

My body craves you
Your disgusting; keep your distance

My heart pounds, butterflies
that fall at the sight of you
---
Baby I feel so desperatly close to you
But you can't see this knife
----

Kissing the moon

Holding on to the night
While the darkness is silent
and there is no clasping shadows
To hold you bound.

A far off wolf howls, pain in his heart
And in turn, the night agrees
Regret that falls short of catastrophe
Swells inside a weeping abyss.

Hold on to the quiet times
When no one holds your soul
Breathe easy with the shadows
And worry not for those who fall.

Someone be real.

Life.

A brigade of brightly colored confusion.

Such a rainbow of pointless catastrophes. 

Single-minded waltzes of insanity

Drifting leaves, burnt skin, a flower blooms. 

Every day passes unobtrusively by, never to be seen again.

Pictures from random shows I've gone to.

Billy Talent. Oh my goooosh. I pretty much worship this band. And the other picture I have he's actually looking at me. Ha. Jon Gallant...bass....Yummy.

Sick Puppies!!!! The singer has mad skills. Ha. And the bassist is a chick. This show was fun. They went off on a muse jam and started playing apocalypse please and Supermassive black hole.

If your a Silverstein fan, you know they are amazing live. This was such a fun show...I met these wierd dudes and this bi guy was flirting with me. Lol concerts are the best.

This is Amy Lee. Evanescanse is really good live and we were against the gate. This was a fun show.

John Holohan & Casey Calvert.

Lost.
To me.
To them.
To the friends who will never forget.

Empty.
The stereo.
Their hearts.
A place on that big stage.

Pain.
Knowing he's gone.
Feeling the loss.
Holding on to anything bolted.

Faith.
Not being sure.
Knowing something is better than nothing.
Knowing their alright.

Never forgotten.
The influences.
The Music.
The impact they left on my life.

Baby We're Two Wrongs, Let's Make It Right.

My heart is bent,
Out for rent,
A result of constant sediment
But time still ticks on.
Yes, time still ticks on.

Keeping my fingers crossed
that you won't call
And I won't crawl to you.
And I won't crawl to you.

Through it all, I see your flaws
but I don't mind only because it's you.
Only because it's you.
but two wrongs like us make it so right

Despite our wary past
I find me wanting you, I hope it lasts
and yet my consciense screams to run the other way
And you pretend
to be my friend
but you can't mend
The things you've done to me.
The things you've done to me.

My doorbell rings, your standing there
One glance and you've stripped me bare, i'm yours.
One glance and you've stripped me bare, i'm yours.

You drive away, your eyes they find
The catastrophic sight of me behind.
The catastrophic sight of me behind.

Through it all, I see your flaws
but I don't mind only because it's you.
only Because it's you.
but two wrongs like us make it so right

Despite our wary past
I find me wanting you, I hope it lasts
and yet my consciense screams to run the other way
And you pretend
to be my friend
but you can't mend
The things you've done to me.
The things you've done to me.

Days roll on,
My moods differenciate
And you turn cold
But I won't care
And I can't leave
and you won't
And life drags on by.

Through it all, I see your flaws
but I don't mind only because it's you.
only Because it's you.
but two wrongs like us make it so right

Despite our wary past
I find me wanting you,
I hope it lasts
and yet my consciense screams to run the other way
And you pretend
to be my friend
but you can't mend
The things you've done to me.
The things you've done to me.
Stop doing this to me.

Yesterday's Forgotten

I wrote this while listening to Avenged Sevenfold's "Critical Acclaim". Now I know this song is about politics....It was hard to actually write without listening to the lyrics. But it was fun. This is a great song, just fyi. Great album too.


Shadows fall across an aubern sky,
A cold world; rediscovered
Senses sharpen, darkness falls
And panic chokes the unwilling.

Knowledge of nothing,
The world's ignorance surfaces.
Screams of hollow fear
And it grows dimmer still.

The mistakes of many now apparant
Once swept away, now exposed.
They cackle a hideous tune
And we are all lost to our corruptions.

The horrific sky, a dark bloody wound
Our eyes cleansed of the former blue skied mirage
Dimming, flickering figures overtake
And a world is lost to yesterday.

Quotes that rock.

The Killers
"The devils water, it aint so sweet. You don't have to drink right now, but you can dip your feet every once in a little while."

Bayside
"I know the spark inside your eyes is just the match I use to set myself on fire."

Guns N Roses
ALL OF NEVEMBER RAIN...lol.

Billy Talent
"This is how it is and this is how it goes, you can sell my body but you can't sell my soul."

Blink 182
"Like Violence, you had me forever and always."

Green Day
"I pledge allegiance to the underworld, One nation under dog, There of which I stand alone. A face in the crowd, Unsung, against the mold, Without a doubt, Singled out, The only way I know"
*If I had time I could do every single green day song...because old green day owns*

My new guitar

Is amazing.Sriously. Actually it kinda blows. But i've been playing an accoustic for so long i was goin nuts. There's nothing wrong with my lil ghetto accoustic but in the words of metalocalipse, "Accoustic guitars are for pussys and gramapas."

Lol.

Sorry.

But yeah. I'm learning some pretty fun power chords. Fun. I was trying to learn a social D song yesterday..... didn't quite work out wonderfully.

But that's okay! I'll get it.

I have to work today!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm afraid of arctic circle.

Lol.

1st Day At Arctic Circle. (Someone give me a sharp object)

Shakes.

Sundaes.

Everywhere.

Grouchy

Irritable, jerk

Old Bald Guy.

Frustration.

Exasperation.

Spilling everything I could reach.

Long, tired

First Day

Embarrassed/annoyed/offended/readytocollapse.

Headache.

Toesies hurt.

Boss nice/adhd ridden/tone deaf/prettyhellarad.

Come home.

Do 222 pounds of crap.

Pray to anyone who is listening (My cat with a hitler beard) that tomorrow never comes.

Sharp objects. Pills.

Weapons of any kind.

They'll do the trick if their lethal. :)

Feeling of midnight.

Body falling apart.

Time to go fall asleep in my shake-ridden uniform.

<3>

I'm starting a petition

I'm trying to get the school administration to alter the dress code for prom. Everyone is telling me that they think i'm being stupid. I don't care. I'm going to keep trying. I've got a lot of signatures already but if you go to lehi and haven't signed it then you better come find me. Every signature helps.

Our school administration is a little too strict and our school is based a lot on peoples relgious beliefs and their standards. But whatever I suppose

Sorry my spelling is horrible. Much love everyone.

Future, they say

Future they say

It is all you need worry now.

Scholarships, essays, applications

headache pill after pill

Indecision, incomprehension of what is to come

little tragedies in a teens unpredictable, extremely predictable life

Will we fall through, throw it all away

or will we walk with the ones we've known for years

Graduation day is so close and yet so unbearably far away

We lose our hair and keep shrinks employed at age seventeen. 

I could just dance.

Tomorrow Bullet For My Valentine's new CD comes out!!!!!!!! ! ! ! !! ! ! ! !!! ! ! ! ! ! ! :) and that means they'll probably tour in the states!!!!!! ! ! ! ! ! !

AND next month Billy Talent's live CD comes out. :) :) :) :) ! <33333333

And panic at the disco has a cd coming out too.

Yay.

Okie I'm done :)

My opinion on music!!!!! <33333333333333!!

Music is my life.

I'm sorry if that bugs anyone, but that's the way it is. Some people's passion is sports, some people's passion is skating, others may be gaming, despite how silly that is. (No offense you cute little nerdy people).  Mine is music.

Music is genius. If you play an instrument and are halfway decent you are my hero. If it weren't for music, I probably wouldn't be who I was today. Ha. That could be good or bad. 

Music has helped me through times in my life where nothing else could. I guess it's just a matter of finding bands or artists you can relate to. For me, there's a lot.

Billy Talent, Bullet for my valentine, Armor for sleep, bayside, as I lay dying, Aiden, She wants revenge, Blink 182, AFI, Bring me the horizon,  and a billion more are the reason I made it here today.

But i'm sure if your reading my blog you already know this. So why re-inform? Well there are people in this world that like to pretend to have interests in things they really...well...have no interest in at all. I know, I know. It's a real shocker that people would ACTUALLY lie to make people like them. We've all NEVER seen that before. 

Yesterday I spotted someone in a Funeral for a friend shirt and I was so excited that someone knew them. So we get talking and I ask him what his favorite song was. "Umm. I like the newest CD." By now I'm rolling my eyes. "What song?" Cool shirt boy gives me a pleading look. "All of them." By now I wanna punch this guy in the face. WHY WEAR THE DAMN T SHIRT IF YOU DON'T EVEN LISTEN TO THE BAND???!?!? I know, it's weird. I'm paranoid, right?

But when you've supported a band since the beginning and now you're getting those kids who walk around in the T shirts and don't know a thing about the band it hits a nerve. I'm obsessed with Billy Talent (that's putting it lightly) And i've listened to them since their Pezz! days. Now, if you know Billy Talent that is quite a long time. Now people are wearing their T shirts and knowing about as much as cool T shirt boy. People are ridiculous! 

Girls Are Stupid.

Don't get me wrong, we can be....durable. Sometimes. But pretty much we are the worst thing to ever walk this earth. We're so stupid and dramatic and fake. Who we are in the inside never shows because we're so busy chewing each other apart or backstabbing so called friends that we're too buried in all that to want to be real. Now, I'm not excluding myself but at least I'm willing to be open about it. Most of us won't even admit that we're not really real. Guys are so cool. Honestly, where girls can get in a fight over stupid stuff and hate each other forever, guys get mad at each other and come back the next day and don't give a shit. Guys are amazing. Ewe. and girls use the hell out of each other. It's disgusting!!! 

Girls.

Annoying, fake, unobtrusive. 

Life is but a stupid game.

No one holds anything real

They hate the different and use the same.

Ghost Headache.

Today a headache decided to give me a little visit. I have the teeniest feeling it might've been stress related. It might've been because one of my best friends is moving away. Or, wait, maybe because my friend is in the hospital and I'm still sitting on the fact that she might not be totally okay. Or, even better, maybe because it's the middle of senior year and i'm losing my mind because everything is deciding to fall apart all at once. There's a few other fun factors that could be the cause of my friend the headache, but I won't bore you. 

So anyway, I killed off the headache with a little thing called Excedrin. In fact, there was nothing little about it. Today I will freely admit I was a borderline pill popper. Hooray for being a druggie for a day. 

Now I've got this annoying remnant of a headache. My mom calls them ghost headaches. Like it was alive but I killed it. Well, to be specific the forty seven pounds of excedrin killed it. So now my friend the headache is gone and tomorrow I get to go back to school and finish off the week, face reality, shoot myself in the head, however you want to put it. I think i'd take the headache.

Senior Year. 

One more step into the future I cannot seem to ever comprehend

A year half spent, and yet I continue to beat on the shell i've wanted to escape from for years

Stress pours in from every corner of the room I call life

Parents, friends, those I long to hold dear and yet the fighting continues.

Love is not something lately i've come to understand

and where it had been in the past now is numb to the touch

Truth and all it's inquiries are nonexistent

and I thrive to move along this reckless road i've traveled at a faster speed.